Happy holidays one and all! My greetings are a bit delayed this Christmas, but nevertheless, I still wish everyone a very, merry, jelly Christmas and a loud, smokey, (uhm..), happy new year!!! :) Thanks to all those who greeted me, sent me cards, etc. etc. Rico! Thanks! Merry Christmas!! Most of my greetings were posted in Friendster. Please check them out. =P I'm too lazy to copy and paste. Haha.

Thanks, 2003. You've been a big part of my life! :)

I know it's a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love -- well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

What if a person gave Death a chance to experience what is was like to live, that Death was so close to choosing to remain on Earth? What if Death had the chance to know what it was like to feel, to try, to smile and to enjoy eating peanut butter on a spoon and not on a toasted slice of bread? What if Death felt the comfortability of the chair in the dining room for the first time and asked for more tea and cookies with jelly with excitement and innocence? What if Death acted upon instinct and knew nothing about the world? What if Death had to speak, how would that have been like? What if Death suddenly lost words to spew and instead developed a heart? What if Death knew what it felt like to let go and that that made life what it was? What if Death experienced what it was like to live in a matter of days? What if Death made love to a woman for the first time and the last, and had to leave her because he did not belong in such world; nor to her, nor to that time and place? What if Death felt what it was like to touch, to press bodies against someone upon reaching climactic ecstacy? What if Death's every action was fragile yet precise, awkward yet predetermined? What if Death's last kiss was a goodbye, an attempt to sacrifice Love for a person whom Death had to take?

And what if you were that person that Death had to take? Would you be able to say that at 65, you've lived the life you wanted to? Would you be able to kiss your daughters every morning and give a shit whether they plan your birthday or not? Would you be able to tell your youngest, most beloved daughter that all you want for her is to have a man who would sweep her off her feet, someone who would make her levitate, sing with rapture and dance like a dervish? What if it was Death she fell in love with, would you angrily sacrifice your own life and plead for Death not to take her? Would you have no regrets?

What if you were the woman who was searching for the right man to love and never saw that person in the man who apparently had the right to lay his lips on yours at the moment; the man who called you beautiful; the man who worked with and was trusted by your father. What if that intelligent man who would bring your father's company to the 21st century didn't make you feel like he lifted you off your feet? And then what if you met this peculiar man in a coffee shop who got hit by a bus when you parted ways, a few seconds after you turned your head and started to walk away? What if your glance at him before you left was the last time you would ever see him? And what if you ended up spooning with Death who presented his being through that wonderful man at the coffee shop; who knew nothing about you; who knew nothing but to take people's lives when it was their time? What if you fell in love with Death instead and watched him learn let go? What if Death kissed you only to say goodbye because he could never be with you even though the heart he learned to have told itself to stay? What if you watched Death walk away with your father? What if you fell in love with someone you knew nothing about, and chose to live forever with him because you loved the way he looked at at you and talked to you and vice versa? What if everything made sense out of something you didn't understand? What if you felt like you've lived just by trying to love because as your father said, trying was enough...

I loved Meet Joe Black. It made me rethink some thoughts on love. Maybe it'd have the same effect on you.

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Everdearest kurt_hill,
Today's conversation struck me more than the rest. All of them are memorable, but this one I won't forget. I wish I was there right next to you. I wish I was holding your hand. I wish I was there for you to cry on, to burst out the worst that you've kept inside you. I wish I was there to embrace you, to convince you that everything was going to be alright. I wish I could keep you, make you stay with a quick kiss on the nose. I wish I had the power to show you what it's like to stay in a moment in silence, just breathing close to each other. That was our moment. It hurt me that you asked me to just call you your name. I am no one special I know. At least I truly believe that I care for you in ways I don't for other people. It hurt me that you said there was nothing I could do. And you were right. All I could do is to be there for you and listen. I didn't give up and just swallowed everything you said. Do you think it's easy for anyone to hear their friend talk about taking their life? I hell give a fuck whether you were serious about it or not; whether you justified your drama; whether you let your family go spend Christmas in Singapore mourning for you. I give a shit. Please trust me when I say that I know where you're coming from. I've been there myself. Life does get fucked up at times; that's just the way it is. But you cannot lose hope. Not someone like you. Not someone who gives life to his office, who's smart, who's handsome, who's got a bright future ahead. Not someone like you. Do you want to be another person added to the people I know who actually committed suicide? Do you? ... If ever you decide upon doing it, I'm glad I was the last person you talked to. I know I did all I could do. I just hope I was able to be there for you, and held you, and made you feel like there were a zillion more tomorrows. As I said, I will be here for you no matter what. And I wholeheartedly promise that I care. You're like a brother to me, one of the sweetest friends I have. You're that man any girl would dream of having. Fuck all of them who left you. You deserve more than that. I don't want to lose you. Not yet. Not ever. *mwah!*

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Dec. 8 - General Psych Open Note Quiz 1
Dec. 9 - Dance Final, Paper Due, 9:00 AM Theatre Arts, Review on Comedy Improv Due, 10:30 AM Registration for Spring Semester, 7:00 AM
Dec. 10 - General Psych Final Part 1, 1:30 PM Developmental Psych Lecture on Death and Dying
Dec. 11 - Sociology Final Exam 4, Writing PACKet Due (13 Chapters, 34 Readings), 11:00 AM No Dance, No Theatre, No Piano
Dec. 15 - Developmental Psych Final, 11:00 AM No General Psych
Dec. 16 - Theatre Arts Final, 8:00 AM Piano Final, 3:00 PM
Dec. 17 - General Psych Final Part 2, 1:00 PM No Developmental Psych
Dec. 18 - Start of Winter Break Jan. 18 - End of Happiness Jan. 19 - Start of Spring Semester

Lord.... Help me. Please give me extra multi-tasking abilities and at least 8 hands to complete my work. Amen.

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