"Two roads diverged in a wood, And I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." --Robert Frost
Strength of character doesn't stem from the words that come from one's mouth but instead from the actions that justify them. I've said so many things in this lifetime that I fell short of accomplishing, needless to say failing to keep my word. I'm very bad and clumsy with promises. It's not a big accomplishment, I know, and I've struggled through several of them. This time around, I'm hopping on a little cloud of courage to help me have a seamless sail through new challenges and lessons learned in life.
I just wanted to say thank you to one of my closer friends. We have an unfathomable closeness in the sense that we're not blood-related but we think and feel the same things at the same time that she's like my sister. You've made me realize, Pipay, that the hardest decisions are the right ones. And though they may feel wrong, in the end we grow stronger for swallowing our pride and picking up from where we left off. I learned once from a great philosopher that courage is being and doing. People have no idea how much courage I have to gather in order to make sound decisions--even when my soul is on its knees begging for prayer, even when decisions mean sacrificing your own emotions to save you from involving yourself in a taffy of play and frustration.
Yes, one day, we'll sit together and laugh about the little roadblocks that were almost successful at serving their purpose. Aren't you glad we suppressed them just in time? I'll try to keep beign optimistic about the ironies of life. Do this with me and we'll realize that letting go took a long time but it was well worth the wait. And we'll be fine.
at 1:53 AMWhatever whirlwinds a person has going on in his head probably amounts to double that what he's feeling in his heart. It's almost funny how they come and go, sporadically, during the most unexpected moments of one's life. They come like a program interruption, disrupting the normal course of things only to swerve to a little alley where everything comes out a blur--that little grey area where everything just sort of happens quickly and disappears at quite the same speed.
These little grey areas have their own purposes, too. I guess to reel us in, in order to avoid the extremeties of blacks and whites. Maybe it's because too much of one thing can be bad for us, that we sort of end up getting stuck in the middle. Is it supposed to be better there? Sure it hardly provides any clarity, but I guess it's a soft mixture of black and white. If everything was presented that way, then there wouldn't be the need to understand things. That's pretty sad.
These little grey areas. Gah, I've had so much animosity towards them that I didn't realize it took this long to understand it. Having to do something difficult doesn't mean it won't be right. The act itself takes up all the courage one can conjure up to even admit the problem's there. All the difficulty cloud belts hanging around the grey areas are just there to hang around. Nobody ever said there wasn't a way around or through them. When a person does discover this secret, it's more liberating than ice cream on a hot, summer afternoon.
"All the colors mix together to grey.. on grey street."
at 1:24 AM
