5 AM
Last night I slept at 5 AM with random thoughts clouding my head. I got home late in the afternoon from a day of billiards with some friends. I was pretty tired when I got home, but I was downloading some songs from Woman On Top, a movie with a rich soundtrack. I dozed off while downloading, and woke up at 3 AM. Upon lying on my bed, I opted to ring my friends' phones, just to let them feel I'm awake (and alive?). A few of them rang my phone back. Some texted. One phone call, however, stood out.
Jiggy called me up. He's the ex-boyfriend of my close friend. I've known him for 2 years now, and that day we met seemed only like yesterday. I was somehow lifted from the chambers of my loneliness last night, when I heard his voice. He asked me how I was, not having talked for the past year. I broke him the sad news of leaving for the States in a month. He told me, "Tangina, Jik, bumabagsak puso ko habang kausap ka." Those words almost brought me to tears. I was fighting them tears because I just couldn't see myself choke just yet. He wanted to take me out, spend a day I guess. He told me he missed me, asked why I didn't call him anymore, asked how everything's been. I didn't expect to hear such a reaction from someone I just fixed up with a friend. I didn't know, that our conversations made a difference. I didn't know, that I was important to him somehow. I didn't know my presence meant something to him. I am trying to compose myself, not to cry when we go out. Jiggy, putangina tsong, wag mo kong papaiyakin.
at 9:38 PM
