I woke up today 2 hours short of sleep. Nowadays, I've been trying to get so much sleep because I'd always stay awake til 5 or 6 in the morning. When I buzz my friends, that's the only time I get to lie down and that happens usually 5 hours past midnight. Back when I was still in my senior year at MCHS, sleep was not a luxury I enjoyed because of the crammer that I am. I would always cram every schoolwork the night before it was due, even if I had like a month to do it. I've observed that I perform better under pressure. Now, however, I'm taking things lightly as I watch the morning sun rise and tell me through its rays that, "Jik, isang araw na naman papalapit sa araw ng iyong paglisan." It's scary, having that thought go on everyday. Countdown: 15 days. I've but 15 days left here in the country I grew to love. Anyway, as I was saying, since I am not going to school, I am taking things at a slower pace. When everyone is getting up at 4 or 5 in the morning, that's the only time I get my shut-eye. Today, I was deprived 2 hours of sleep because of the cruel reality that I've to accomplish so many things for the day. One of which is to update my blog. Lol. Kidding aside, I have to prepare so many things for my upcoming debut/despedida. Instead of my 8-hour quota, I was just peacefully asleep for 6 hours.

The part I love most about waking up is that momentary state of lucidity. You know, that part where you're half asleep, half awake, random thoughts going on inside your head. For some reason, the moment I wake up, things are all so clear. I found myself clasp my hands together. I found myself praying. Instead of praying generally like I often do, I prayed for individual people. Last night, coming home from the choir mass, I learned that it hurts when you care about people, especially when you feel their problems -- when they come to you and talk, looking you straight in the eyes. Masakit pala. I was praying for these people. I knew at this state that these people needed more of God's guidance than I am needing it. I've my own set of problems also, but I put that aside today, as I silently prayed for my friends. After that, I slowly began a prayer for myself. I hate wanting things instead of asking for them through God. I am glad and proud to say that today, I started it right. I asked for blessing from the Lord.

Another morning ritual is feeling the bedsheets -- for my phone. Lol. I had to open two eyes today because I couldn't find it. Opening two eyes helped. I was glad to see the No Space For Messages sign. The messages that came in surprised me and pleased me. It was from Jiggy. Remember my entry on him? Today he deserves another mentioning in my blog. His message was this (I am trying to get the words exactly right, because stupid me, I didn't think of just forwarding it to the person the message was intended for): 5:42:18 AM "Jik, alam ko tulog ka na, pero kailangan ko lang ng masasabihan nito.. Jik, I love Cucay.. I love her to the point that I have to say that I need her.. I love her like I never dared loved myself.. I am the meekest little boy without her.. I just have nothing left in me to tell her, Jik.. I love her more than any cliche can say.. Pretty powerful words, noh? Cucay, if you're reading this, eto lang masasabi ko sa iyo: Mahal ka nung tao, alam ko mahal mo siya. Sana mahanap niyo yung daan patungo sa isa't isa, kung ito dapat ang mangyari. You guys have been my friends so long. It broke my heart knowing that I was part of how you two got together, and now you've broken apart. Reading that message made me realize that even to some small degree, and even if people usually don't know how to treat it, love still exists. Thanks guys, for making me realize that. I smiled at that intoxicating thought.

So, after praying and reading Jiggy's messages, I pulled myself out of my most beloved woolen blanket. I headed to the bathroom to wash the residue off my goodnight's drooling. (!) I ran an imaginary checklist, and set in my head the things I needed to accomplish today. First off, I looked for this calling card I got from the two people who will be the emcees at my debut. I texted their number to my dad so he can make arrangements. I thought also already of the souvenirs I have to start making for my friends. My debut will not give out the same souvenirs at the end of the program. Since I am leaving, I decided to personalize my friends' souvenirs. Hearing and seeing myself say that just right now made me realize that I need to get started on it. So, until the end of the day.. Au Revoir.