Wow! I have finally gotten myself to update my blog. I was too busy first of all, trying to adjust here in the States and secondly, because I let a week make all the happenings sink in. True enough, as Gaby advised me, I let some time pass first before I could write. Here I am, 8 days later, updating my blog. Nostalgia's all around me.

Paglisan: Saturday, July 12, was a day that will never be erased from memory. It was a day, 24 hours too short, too many blinks too fast. I woke up beside Cucay, a bestfriend in all her simplicity. She woke up late for her class at UST, so I didn't let her linger in my house anymore. I was just half awake seeing her put her uniform on, on top of her clothes. It was so weird. I tried to sleep after that, but the anxiety kept me from it. I decided to finalize my packing. I was only 80% done. A few hours later, Ramil went to the house. He brought with him some pabaon. I was dying to eat some Nutella and Nusica on the plane. For those of you clueless as to what they are, they are rich, hazelnut sandwich spreads which I choose to eat without bread. (read: kinakamay ko lang, and lick it off my finger. LOL parang ang bastos?! :D) With that, he gave me the Lady's Choice Grape Stripe and I was disappointed because I wanted the guava-striped one!! LOL. Nevertheless, the thought was there, and I was touched pretty much. He was just there, helping me pack, reminding me that the luggages had a weight limit! Lol. I wanted to bring so many things, but the weight, dang, it hindered me from bringing everything I wanted to. A few minutes after, my other good friend Pierre arrived. She had her dad bring her to my house just to see me off. Man, that really touched me. She came from Marikina just to see me before I leave. We all ate lunch together, and just talked and played Text Twist for the remaining time. A few hours later, my bitch Kath and my other friend Maui went to the house. I was showing them the debut pictures with which I am very well pleased. (Ang ganda kasi lahat eh!) After that, they went to my room and just raided it! BLECH!! They started looking at the clothes I left behind, the shoes and my other abubots. It was funny how Kath said, "Bitch, akin nalang tong blanket mo ha!" I tried to protest, but she talked my dad into letting her get it, along with a pillow I think. They wanted to get my stuff dammit! Lol. It didn't really bother me much, because I had a feeling that they wanted to hold on to me somewhat, ergo getting some stuff, ergo raiding my room, ergo leaving only the stuff I wouldn't want sent here anymore. Hehe. A few minutes afterwards, four of my choirmates went to the house. JP, Anna, Ruby and Me-an came to see me off also. JP had to leave because he needed some errands done, but I really appreciated it that he dropped by and wished me the best of my stay here. So, my three gorgeous babes were being entertained again by my debut pictures while I was getting ready for leaving. I was preparing my handcarry. I never realized that 23 pounds weighed so much! The limit was just 15 or 17 pounds or something like that. I was forced to leave some important things to me, like two of my scrapbooks and 2 of my planners, a blouse and 2 tank tops. Lol. What was I thinking when I convinced myself that they'd fit in the handcarry and not weigh so much?!? Hahaha! So.. there. I was taking some things off of my handcarry because my dad was getting frustrated knowing that I was carrying so much, (with this built and this height I bet, that was what was on his mind :D). Before I took a bath, my three friends had to leave already. I was disappointed because the person I've grown to love, Kath, wouldn't be able to bring me to the airport for the petty reason that her mom (who is in Africa) wouldn't let her. I was pissed (at her mom) lol, but, I understood of course. I said my goodbyes, gave them the tightest hugs, and vowed to see them all soon. It was another tear-jerking moment. .. After saying the goodbyes, I took a bath while my three gorgeous babes talked to Ramil. After taking a bath, I went upstairs, got dressed and talked to them. I told them that Roi, my dear tutor, good friend and choirmate, was supposed to drop by before I leave. A few seconds after that, he walked in my house as he has done so many times, and gave me a little pabaon also. He gave me a plastic bag with Crispy M&M's in it. He didn't know what to get me, but he hoped that would suffice. It did. I had to leave then after. I hugged my three gorgeous babes and hugged Roi. Then, I looked at the house one last time, and rode in the car along with my dad and Ramil. We were just talking about some stuff, like how things would change when I'm gone. I wouldn't be able to call someone every morning when I wake up and talk to him even if he's at work. I wouldn't be able to do the things I've grown to love doing in a matter of two weeks. I gave him my picture in a frame. Ang swerte nga niya kasi 5R yung size non eh. Lol. Kidding. I also gave him my ring which says Jik on it. Alambre lang siya, pero ang galing eh. Somewhere between the times that I would hold his hand going to the airport while he was narrating to me the latest of The Amazing Race, Cucay called me up and asked me to wait for her at the entrance of the airport. She didn't want me to leave without seeing her. When I finally got there, I was frantic and frustrated because I wanted to see her before I checked in and my dad was pressuring me to go inside already or else the line for the check-in counter would be so long. I wasn't moving. I was determined to wait for her. I even asked Ramil if I could use his phone to call her up. I called her up maybe four times, and she was telling me to wait because she could see the airport already from where she was. I was so touched and crying because she skipped this major thing in school that she needed to attend for me. After a few minutes of frustration, I called her up and when I turned, she was right in front of me. I hugged her, and asked her what took so long. I hugged her tightly, like I've never hugged anyone so tightly before. She then gave me her letter. Afterwards, I came to hug Ramil goodbye, hoping that I would see him again when I come back. Lastly, I hugged my dad. He was teary-eyed like I've never seen him before. He hugged me and wished me luck, and told me he loved me. He told me to take care of my mom and to encourage my brother. He told me he had faith in me that I will prosper and succeed and carry myself well in the States. I was crying. Remembering that day has never ceased bring tears to my eyes. Shit. I can feel them coming. ... After that, I let go of time. I was entering the airport accompanied by the porter. He helped me with my two balikbayan boxes and brought it for me til the check in counter. I paid him P50. He was very helpful. Lining up, my dad was calling me from time to time, checking on how I was doing inside. He was also reminding me of the things I needed to do, tell the airport staff, pay the terminal fee, fill out some forms, etc etc. After the immigration check, which didn't take long since I was travelling with the US Passport already, I was free.

Ultimo Adios: Sitting down on one of the many chairs that made up the waiting area, I suddenly felt so alone. I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and calling out, "Why, God? Why now? Why me?" I felt so bad. I've never felt so empty. Sitting down, I first texted Kath. I told her that I loved her, and I was not mad at her in any way. I told her how she made Philippines wonderful for me. Having her as a friend was like holding the finest sand in your hands, not one tiny pebble falling out as if you could just admire its beauty for all your life. She made Philippines like that, more beautiful just because she was in it. I told her how she was like a best friend to me, because no lady has ever known me inside out as much as she had. I suddenly felt sadness around me, knowing that she wasn't able to see me off. Thereafter, she called me up. Humahagulgul. She was crying so hard, begging me not to leave. She told me how important I was. She told me how she wouldn't have anyone to watch over her like I have. She wouldn't have anyone to inspire her to study hard. She wouldn't have anyone to talk to about everything the way we always do. She wouldn't feel love from a friend as I've always made her feel. Putangina, dito talaga ako umiyak. She was crying so hard, and I wish I was beside her, and I was wishing I didn't have to leave. Punyemas Kath pinapaiyak mo ako ngayon habang sinusulat ko to! She was begging me not to leave. For once in my life, I wish I could really stop time, stall it to be with her. After talking, we hung up. I then texted Nev. He, a person who has changed me and watched me grow, a best friend, is a person who made time and the heavens more precious than they already are. He called me up and told me to take care. He told me that all was going to be fine. Mahal kita. That's what he said. Those words never sounded so sweet coming from a good friend. Nev, salamat. I then texted Cucay and Tere. My two best girl friends. You made my life so much better, so much more colorful when I met you and if I were to relive everything, I wouldn't change anything. The beer has never tasted sweeter than it is when drank with you. Life has never been sweeter because of the three years of the bond that we've developed for each other. Mahal na mahal ko kayong dalawa. Wag ako papalitan sa ating trio ha? ... After that, I texted all my other friends. It was a mass message, but heartfelt at that. Thank you, friends, for calling me up. You know who you guys are. I was out of batt and out of load (that Ramil would call me from time to time, and actually reloaded my phone with credit so I can text with you guys) at that time but I was determined to text everyone important to me before I left. My classmates called me up from Carmen's party. They all had their few seconds of bidding me goodbye. Putsa. Mahal na mahal kong mga kaklase ko. It's not the same without you around. ... A lot of my friends texted back, a lot wished me the best in the States, and others begged me not to leave. I didn't know I was that important to the people around me. Is leaving the only way for one to measure his importance to his friends? I suddenly wished that that was not the only means by which a person finds out his importance. It hurts too damn much if that's the only way.

Final Destination and Boarding Call: Sitting there, stuck with only two sheets of tissue paper, I was the most chinese-maga-eyed looking person in the airport. I could care less. I told my friends that I wish my feet were stuck to the ground, so I wouldn't have to leave. Then again, how many percent of the wishes we make do come true? ... I was struggling then. I felt empty all over again. Ramil was the last person I talked to. After the "no space for new messages" sign's flashing started to subdue, I spent my last minutes of air time with him. He was encouraging me how good the States will be for me, and how I'll be doing good there. He had faith in me and loved me very much. I wondered when we would see each other again. ... I lined up for the final documents checking and sat there talking to him until it was time to board. I bid him goodbye. I felt ... empty. Third time. ... I walked inside the plane. My heart was in the Philippines, and what I was carrying with me was a broken one. I was still teary-eyed. Finding my seat and struggling with my big Ateneo bag handcarry, I finally sat down beside two older women, and closed my eyes. I closed my eyes and breathed the air of the Philippines for the last time. The last group of people I texted was my choirmates. Three of them replied. Me-an, Ruby and Roi texted me. After Roi's last text, I turned off my phone. (After the stewardess has asked me to turn it off.) Again, I closed my tired eyes, and dreamt.

Sweet Dreams: I didn't care if I missed out on the food or on the movies. All I wanted to do was dream. I closed my eyes and vividly pictured everything that happened during my stay in the Philippines. I focused on the last week and the last few days of my stay because they were the most fun-filled and blissful moments of my life. It's true when people say that your friends contribute a lot to your being. I became stronger because of them, even though I was in a situation I could only wish of escaping. I didn't want to wake up, because my dreams were sweet, and the people in it, are the people whom I love with my heart and soul.

Ngayong Nandito Ka: This was the only movie I got to watch. Weird, but it was worth it. Ngayong Narito Ka stars Jericho Rosales, Kristine Hermosa, Onemig Bondoc, and Cindy Kurleto. This is the gist, which I've gotten from ShowBizPinoy.com: Garie (Kristine Hermosa) and Rocky (Jericho Rosales) share the perfect romance. Happily in love and brimming with dreams of a future together, they believe that nothing can come between them. But fate traps Rocky into a dilemma. He is force to sacrifice his love for Garie, and their plans of pursuing their dream in Japan. The family business is on verge of bankruptcy, and he is the only one who can save it by marrying the daughter of an influential congressman. Garie, heartbroken, later finds redemption in the person of Derrick (Onemig Bondoc), a successful Filipino entrepreneur who takes her under his wing. Two years later, the former lovers meet each other again through Derrick, who is now Garie's fiance. Garie and Rocky have to work together for the new hotel that Derrick is putting up in Baguio - he will be Derrick's furniture supplier; she will be his interior designer. As they are forced by the circumstances to be around each other, old wounds begin to hurt anew. Will the romance be rekindled? Will Rocky and Garie find themselves? ... I'm a sucker for romantic filipino movies. Wala lang. Naiyak na naman ako while watching the film.

The rest of the flight was okay. I was glad that I was able to take my rest. Thanks, Roi for wishing me a restful flight. Wala talaga kasi akong tulog masyado bago non. I woke up sort of refreshed. I said sort of because my eyes were still hurting from crying. Before I knew it, the 15-hour direct flight was almost over. I spent the last minutes of the plane ride reading two of the letters that I've gotten. They were both from two very important people: Kath and Cucay. I read Cucay's letter first. I will post the first part here because it really made me cry:
Kaibigan, nais mo bang lumayo? Tama na bang managinip na nasa ilalim lang tayo ng iisang bahaghari? Sumasayaw sa hindi naman tumatagal na tugtugin... Para saan pa ang kantahan kung mawawala ang tunog? Naglolokohan lang ba tayo? Para saan pa ang mga tagay kung iisa lang ang bote ng gin? Kung pwede lang akong tumawa katulad ng nagtawanan tayo sa kababawan ng mga biro noon... May katapusan din pala ang halakhak... Kaibigan, wag kang umalis dahil iiyak ako, at di ko nakasanayan yon. Ano ba ang meron doon na hindi ko mabibigay? Hindi ba't ang buwan mo doon ay buwan ko rin? Kung pwede ko lang bilhin and araw ng iyon pag-alis pero ang kaya ko lang gawin ay bayaran ng luha ang lahat. Para saan ba ang sigarilyong upos na sa iisang hithit? Parang oras. Parang pag-ibig. Parang kasiyahan. Kaibigan, nagmamakaawa ako. Wag mo akong iwan dahil iiyak ako.

Puchangina. I was wiping my nose with the back of my hand. Jologs na kung sa jologs but I didn't have tissue there anymore and the plane was landing so I couldn't go to the bathroom. I was crying when I read her letter. After that, I read Kath's letter. These were some of the things she said that really made me cry even more:
"...I remember those days when you're telling me that we'll study hard so I won't go to Africa.. We did all we can do to keep me here... and I am.. But I guess this is one more of the many ironies of life... you're the one leaving now.. You kept me here only for you to go... and this time, I can't do anything to hold you back... Jik, if there's one person who changed me, it's gonna be you.. You were very patient, loving & caressing.. You taught me to strive and work hard. You taught me to prioritize.. You disciplined me and never will I find someone like you. Iisa lang ang bubwit sa buhay ko. Kung pwede ka lang talagang di na umalis eh.. Kung may magagawa lang ako.. "If I could, then I would.. I'll go wherever you will go.." Bitch, I know that you know that you're holding a space in my broken heart and it's sad how that part used to be so full, so happy and so loved but now that you're leaving, I'm scared that it's going to be hollow and sad without your presence in it... One thing I'll promise you -- I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET YOU..."

The tears just flowed after that. --- A few minutes later, I landed in Los Angeles. (Pag 'kano ka, ang pagpronounce dito ay: Los Angelees) I felt the difference in the air. I felt the aura not being so Filipino anymore. Everything was different. -- I got off the plane and into immigration check. The line was fast and so I didn't have any problems. After that, I was on an adventure ... to find my balikbayan box and look for a porter with the right build to carry my two 50 something pound luggages. I found the boxes which have already been taken down from the conveyer belt, and asked this African-American man (yes, with the right build he exceeded my expectations, he just carried it like it was friggin HAY) to put them on the trolley for me. After that, I lined up and the last airport man (lol. what?!) who claimed my customs declaration form said, "Alright, welcome back home!" I was about to say, "Anak ng tupang kinalbo! Welcome back home ka diyan you id-jot!" After pushing my trolley up and going out were the receiving area was, I started to panic. Nawawala ang magaling kong nanay at kapatid! Usually, Filipinos would be so excited seeing their loved ones finally land in California. Yung pamilya ko eh feel ko tinakwil ako for some unknown reason!! After moving the trolley around and around, and the right wheel was pestering me because it was stuck, I finally decided to just stand there and wait. Good enough, I saw my mom and my brother from afar and approached them. It was so funny because my mom was asking another Filipino passenger of the same flight, "Uh, excuse me, nagland na ba yung PAL PR102? Meron po ba kayong nakitang dalaga na blah blah blah blah..." Little did she notice, kinakalabit ko na siya with a grin on my face. After that, she laughed her ass off, kissed me and hugged me. We had a long conversation from there. I showed them also the debut pictures which I carried in my Ateneo bag. There were times that I fell silent during the ride home. I was feeling lonely again. The conversation went:
Kuya: O, tumahimik ka ata? Ma: Are you okay? Me: Yeah. (pause) I'm fine. (without really meaning it)

When I got home, I instantly had to grab some grub. (nakakabarok yon ah!) So, I found two very interesting and very scrumptious blue boxes (para sa mga pilosopo, the box was not edible! What was scrumptious was the picture posted on it!)
Culprit #1:
The New Chips Ahoy! Ooey Gooey Warm 'n Chewy Triple Chunk The Twist: They are real chocolate and white fudge chip cookies Directions: 1. REMOVE cookies from wrapper and place side-by-side on a dinner-sized microwaveable plate in the microwave oven. Do not use a disposable plate. Do not microwave in wrapper. 2. MICROWAVE for 15 seconds on HIGH. If cookies aren't warm, microwave for an additional 10 seconds. Your microwave may need a longer or shorter time to produce a fresh baked tasting cookie. Cookies are done when they're warm, chocolate begins to look melted and you can smell the aroma of fresh baked cookies. 3. COOL cookies slightly before eating. Do not overheat. Chunks can become extremely hot and could cause burns.
Culprit #2:
The New Chips Ahoy! CremeWiches The Twist: They are real chocolate chip sandwich cookies Directions: Get one and get addicted!
Kung nagtataka kayo kung bakit ang mga puti eh matataba't overweight eh yon ay dahil dito sa dalawang culprit na to!

July 13, 2003: I really can't remember much about Sunday. All I know is that I slept during the day because my body clock was still a mess. Actually, kahit na nung nasa Pi pa ako eh baliktad na talaga, diba Rico?) I think that was the day that my cousin Gi went over. We caught up on some stories and I showed the rest of my pictures. Oh wait, now I remember. Sunday was the day that I started unpacking. The first thing I did also, was look at the pictures I've had taken back in Pi. I put several pictures in frames. Here they are as follows:

My Grad Pic

Me and Kath

II-F: Mike, Martin, Caloy, Conci and Jerry

AAK: Rudolph, Vincent, Mark, Sonny, Ogie, Sir Ian, Miguel, Celeste, Me, Jen, and Lexie

1st pic: Jik, Tere and Cucay 2nd pic: Ramil 3rd pic: Jik, Tere and Kring

Friends Choir: Kuya Bing, Kuya VG, JP, Kuya Bert, Shiela, Kuya Cook, Ate Malou, Ate Kathy, Ata Anabel, Anna, Me-an, Ata Mimi, Alex, Kris, Kuya Bong, Ruby, Me, Roi, Jonar, Cheme, Kuya Rommel and Bam

These pictures made me feel like I was closer to home.

July 14, 2003: Tuesday was the first time I got to meet Jewel. It was so funny cos he was supposed to pick me up from the apartment, but he was kinda lost. So, he called me up and was talking to me to get the directions right. Hehe. Ang layo ng naabot niya, siguro two streets further down. Lol. Finally, I met up with him. It was so cool how we just talked as if we already knew each other for so long. We talked about a lot of things of course, because that was the first time we actually got to go out on a gimik. I think 30 minutes after, we arrived at Rico's apartment complex and picked him up. It was so nice seeing him again. So, we were in the car deciding where to go:
Jewel: "Oh, saan niyo gustong pumunta? Turo niyo lang tapos I'll take you there." Me: "Ikaw, kahit saan. You take us around, I'm still new here." Rico: "Ako, kahit ano." Jewel: "Kahit sa bundok?" ----

Rico and I were just in the car not knowing where Jewel was taking us. Eventually, he revealed that he would take us beach-hopping. First off, we went to Hermosa Beach, California. We parked beside a genuine parking meter and walked to the sand. We took off our shoes (we didn't know that we were going to the beach so naka pantalon at sapatos kaming hindi pang-beach) and walked on the sand. Another conversation:
Rico: "Pucha, ang init ng sand!" Jewel: "Hindi, ibaon mo lang, hindi na masyadong mainit. ** after a few seconds ** Jewel: "Oo nga, ang init!" ----

This was the time I was getting accustomed to Jewel's credebility problems. :) After that, we emptied our water bottles and took sand from Hermosa. That beach was not a beach where people can wade and play by the water and look all baywatch-y. That place was full of surfers and boogie boarders. (Lol I honestly don't know how to spell that word.) When we were walking, Jewel, Rico and I promised to learn how to if not surf, boogie board. Man, pag balik ni Rico galing Colorado, we would surf and ride our boogie boards on on the waters of the California coast. Since we weren't allowed to wade there, however, we decided to go to Redondo Beach which was only about... 5 minutes away. Lol.

Ayan.

Huntington (pronounced Hunningtun) Beach was just near Anaheim. First we went to Dreyer's for some ice cream. Jewel had cottoncandy and bubblegum. I had mint chocolate. Rico had uhm.. err.. what was it? (Advertisement: Find out Rico's ice cream flavor at his blog!) We went there and decided to go kite-flying. I think I've had several occasions when I was a kid to fly a kite, but I never really took it seriously like Rico did. Lol. :) So, Rico and Jewel were fixing the kites and I was... observing. Lol. After the first kite was assembled, Jewel and Rico flew it. Ang galing! After that, I took my turn and held the string. There was just something serene about flying a kite. After that, Jewel decided to fly the other one which was a bit more complicated. But, after assembling it and after many tries, they were able to keep the kite in the air. I took my turn again and was doing stunts! It was cool how I learned that it wasn't so hard to learn how to fly a kite. Thereafter, arms getting tired from flying the flight, we just decided to lie on the sand. Rico was to my left and Jewel was to my right. I was holding some sand in my left hand, while we were talking about some things. Later on, another interesting conversation took place:
Rico: "Jik, may sand sa bibig ko." Jik: "Akala ko ako lang." ** mumugs with water and spits ** ----

From there, we were deciding to dine in a mediterranean restaurant. It just so happened that Dimps, Rico and Jewel's friend, and her boyfriend Allen wanted to meet up since they were both off work already. So instead of having a new taste of "mediterranean food", we went to Irvine Spectrum, a more civilized The Block. (The Block at Orange is like ... Eastwood City, except that it has stores and a movie theater) Another short conversation:
Rico: "Ano bang makakain sa mediterranean restaurant?" Jewel: "Uh.. (groping for new ideas na pambola) yung mga... shawarma." ** slight pause ** Rico: "Anong shawarma! Hindi naman mediterranean yun eh, sa middle east yon eh!!" ----

And so we rode. I make such a bad passenger cos I kept on sleeping. That was just because of lack of sleep, nothing personal, Jewel. Lol. After getting there, I finally met Dimps and Allen. Nakakatuwa sila. It's like Ive known them for so long. What I like about them is that they make sure no one's left out when having a conversation. We decided to eat dinner already since it was getting dark. Conversation:
Allen: Where do you guys wanna eat? (Americanized. LOL! Joke lang Allen!) Jewel: Kayo.. Jik: Hindi, kayo.. Dimps: Ikaw, Rico, san mo gusto? Rico: Kayo.. ----

Hay.. Ang walang katapusang kayo! ... We ended up eating at Wolfgang Puck. (I don't know if I got that right, I don't remember getting a memorabilia somewhat.) There was so much food! There was Pad-Thai (na super anghang ba, Dimps?), three-cheese ravioli, quesedilla (anak ng tupa pano ba to iniispell?), another kind of pizza, another kind of pasta AND Rico's favorite: Mushroom-Mushroom pizza. Lol. (hindi siya masarap) That was the first time also I got to taste Heineken. Hmm.. It was okay although as the San Miguel Commercial goes.. "..at wala ng iba pang kay sasarap na beer." True true. After eating, we went to Dave & Buster's, an arcade. After how many games, I kept the power card as a promise that we would have another D&B day with Rico. Then, we just hung out and talked some more, trying to convince Rico to stay even a few more days before he goes to Colorado. We didn't convince him to reschedule his flight, although we did convince him to go to the beach again on Thursday and then have a Vid-Ok overnight at Dimple's house on Friday. So it was set, said our goodbyes and headed on home.

July 13, 2003, Wednesday: I couldn't remember much about Wednesday. I think I just slept the whole day. In the afternoon, my cousin picked me up and we went to our usual tambayan. We ate ice cream (again) at Baskin & Robbin's this time. I had mint chocolate again I think and she had.. I forgot. Lol. I'm so mean. We didn't stay long because she had to go home for dinner. What followed after that was something that really killed me. I was on the computer chatting with Ramil and Jec. They were the first long and real conversations I've had with anyone in the Pi since I got here. My brother, however, was pestering me to use the computer. I'll just put our dialog here, because I'd rather put it here than narrate:
Kuya: Pagamit na kasi ng computer. Me: Eh hindi pa ako tapos eh. Kuya: Sabi mo sandali ka nalang diyan eh 2 AM na eh. Me: Sabi ko sa yo, lalapit ako sa yo pag tapos na ako. Eh hindi pa ako tapos eh. Kuya: Eh ano ba kasing ginagawa mo diyan ha? Me: Importante to sa akin eh, hindi mo ba maintindihan yon? Kuya: Ano, pagchchat, trivia, pagblog? Me: Meron akong kinakausap and this is the first real conversation I've had with these people kaya please patapusin mo muna ako. Kuya: Sabi mo sandala ka nalang eh, di sana di mo ako pinaasa na tapos ka na tapos hindi pa pala. ** mom was waking up as were raising our voices ** Ma: Ano ba naman yan, alas dos na ng umaga tapos nagaaway pa kayo! Me: Eh si kuya kinukulit ako, eh dalawang araw na nga siya nasa harap ng kompyuter, ngayon ko na nga lang magagamit nang matagal! Ma: Yeah, but I did hear you sad na sandali ka lang diyan, so pagbigyan mo na yung kapatid mo. Me: Pagbigyan? He has been sitting his ass in front of the computer for 3 months already and you ask me na pagbigyan siya? Ma naman! Importante ito sa akin eh, hindi niyo ba maintindihan yon? Ma: Why, did you ever consider how I felt? Did you ever ask me if I wanted to use the computer? Computer ko naman yan ah. Ipagdadamot ko yan sa inyo kung magaaway lang kayo over it. Hindi niyo nakikita yung pagod ko. I put food on the table for you. (yada yada yada....) Ni wala man lang kayong consuelo sa akin! Me: Ma, don't tell me naman I don't help around the house because I cleaned my things and the whole living room til 5 in the morning! I put out your breakfast bowl for you and cleaned the carpet and fixed the balikbayan boxes! Tapos you didn't even appreciate it! Don't naman sana point your finger at me. Ako na nga tong si atat na magtrabaho't magayos ng eskwelahan at magdrive. Eh si kuya, andito na ng tatlong buwan di pa kumikilos. Don't point your finger at me! Ma: I don't need to hear that from you. Your brother knows that, he just doesn't know what to do about it. ** I was sobbing ** Ma: Blow your nose nga! ** Not moving ** Ma: See, why do you disobey me? Bakit mo sinasadyang gumanti sa kapatid mo by using the computer up to this hour? Me: Ma, kung gumaganti ako di sana wala akong ginagawang importante sa computer. Di dapat I was just lingering. Pero hindi naman eh. I'm not disobeying you. Ayoko magblow ng nose because you're telling me because you're irritated, not because you sympathize with me. Ma: Eh nakakairita eh! ** pulls the plug of the computer ** Me: Eto na, tatayo na ako. Aalis na ako sa harap diba yun naman gusto mo? Nalulungkot lang ako, Ma. Ma: Bakit, lahat naman tayo diba? ** I go out of the room ** ** Puts laptop on the table in front of my brother para matuwa na siya sa paggamit niya ng kompyuter ** ** Gets discman, puts in a disc, plugs in earphones, gets a pack of yosi, gets lighter, opens door, sits outside, lights a cigarette, crying, looking at nothing **

This was the day I felt so empty. I just wanted to go back home. Life can be a bitch sometimes.

July 17, 2003, Thursday: Thursday morning, I woke up with chinese-maga-eyes again. I met up with Jewel early morning, and vented. (Jewel, thank you. Thanks for listening to me kahit na tatlong araw palang kitang nakikilala. Thanks for understanding how I felt, and for comforting me in the morning. I really, really appreciated it.) During the ranting, we found our way back to Rico's place. Binulabog namin siya kasi tulog pa pala siya. I was eating some shrimp crackers and sa kakapalan ng mukha ko nakihingi pa ako ng suka kila Rico. After Rico got ready, we went to the car, guitar and cameras in hand, and went to Westminster. That was the place where we ate lunch. It was a Chinese Seafood Restaurant full of old cute cartoon-looking chinese waiters. It was awesome. Fantastic! Lol. After that, we headed back to Huntington Beach. We were strolling along the cement walk in between the beach and the parking lot:
Rico: Ano yang empty space na yan? (pertaining to an empty square, one side open facing the parking lot) Jewel: Ah ano yan, changing area. (as a matter-of-factly) Jik: Changing area para saan? (clueless, biktima ni Jewel) Jewel: Kasi, pag malamig na at wala ng araw, diyan nagpapalit yung mga tao para yung hangin hindi mapupunta sa kanila. Jik and Rico: Ah.. ** after walking for a few seconds, may natanaw pa kaming isang "changing area" ** Rico: Putangina Jewel! (looking at the "changing area") ** "changing area" was the space where they put the big blue trash bins!! ** Jik: Puchangina changing area daw!!!! Jewel: Bakit naniwala kayo!?! Jik: Well you did say it with a tone of authenticity! (not my exact words, but this was what I meant) Rico: Pucha pare ang barbero mo talaga! Mula ngayon hindi na ako maniniwala sa mga sinsasabi mo! ----

Not successful in looking for in-line skate rentals, we went back to the beach and walked near the water. Looking down, I saw some holes on the sand:
Jik: Ang galing oh, bakit kaya may holes sa sand? Iba iba pa yung size. Jewel: Ah, may crabs kasi diyan, naghuhukay. Rico: Oooowwwwwssss?!!? ** then we cracked up ** ----

Those were just examples of Jewel's story-telling-a-lie. Lol. After that, we went back to the car to get the guitar, and sat by the beach. Jewel suggested that we use Rico's cap for the people to put money inside. Ayaw nga lang niyang gawin, sayang. We were singing some old songs then. Most of them, I didn't know unless Jewel and Rico would play it. I'm not very familiar with the artist and song titles, but I do know the song. Somewhat. I'm not much of a child-of-the-80's. Gurang na kasi sila. Teehee! -- After staying there for a while, we were amused watching a gay couple frolic in the waters. Pucha ang bading!!!!! -- It sort of drizzled afterwards, and we decided to head home. But before that, we were able to build a quasi-castle. Lol. It looked a lot like Angkor Wat. Just check out Rico's blog again because the picture is there. Lol. It was so fun building the castle. We put a moat around it because the current was strong already. We tried to make it realistic and symmetric. You judge. :D -- It was back to our humble abodes after that.

July 18, 2003, Friday: I was catching up on some sleep come Friday. I was online then, I don't really know what I did. All I remember is that I slept at 3 pm after taking a bath. Then, I woke up at 4 to Jewel's call. They were at Long Beach and were going to ring my phone when they were near. I slept again. I woke up two hours after, panicking that maybe they'd left me already. I texted them and they said they'd be here in 5 minutes. When they went here, they chitchatted with my mom first (they got to meet her last Tuesday) as I was packing my things. After all the psychobabbling, we decided to proceed to Dimps' house in Fontana, California. It was traffic on the freeway, always a downside to being a driver. That is the reason why Rico and I enjoy so much being Jewel's passengers. Lol. Kidding, Jewel!! :) After an hour, we finally got to the place. Ang ganda ng bahay ng tito ni Dimps. I forgot to mention that Dimps is a graduate of Miriam College, my alma mater. So, we really hit it off, talking about the teachers that we might know in common. We ate Pollo Loco for dinner. Sarap. After that, Allen, Dimps and Kuya Ryan (her cousin) went to buy some drinks. I also asked them to buy film for my camera. After a few minutes, they got back, and set up the DVD player for the vid-ok. There were so many songs to choose from I was ecstatic! Lol. We sang a lot of tunes, from old songs, to new songs, to senti songs, to trip songs (Butsikik, London Bridge Is Falling Down, and MmmBOP are some examples). It was nostalgic. They were riling me as to why I was so happy. Lol. (Are you sure? Owwwss..? Ay!) Wahaha. -- There was MGD, Smirnoff Ice (which tasted so good), Bailey and this drink that Kuya Ryan mixed. Pina Collada. (Ganon ba yon? Lol. I don't know kung nag-iimbento ako ng pangalan. Lol.) After singing some songs and riling the butts off each other, we decided to call it a night at 4 am. I slept at Dimple's room while the boys slept in another room. We woke up at 8 am the following morning. We didn't have hangovers or anything. We were just really tired. It was funny how we packed our stuff for the overnight which we really didn't use. (read: Kung ano yung gamit namin ng Friday, tinulugan namin, at yun parin ang gamit til Saturday) We had coffee in the morning and I had bread with it. Dimps offered doughnuts, so we all ate doughnuts. She also gave Rico her copy of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, a book I treasure also. We were talking about the plans we had for the future, and how we were reminiscing about more of the I'm-a-child-of-the-80's thing. We were talking about Cindy's and Tropical Hut instead of McDo and Jollibee. We were talking about patintero and chinese garter. We talked about Family Computers and Atari (which I knew nothing of). We talked about a lot of things. However, Rico needed to finish packing and get to the airport. We said our goodbyes, took pictures, and headed home.

I could've described this day more vividly, but right now, all energy has been zapped out of me. (Choknat? :P) This is the best I could do and I haven't even checked if I have typos or not so.... bear with me! Inaantok na ako!!!!