What makes this time different I guess is changing a bit of my perspective on things. I always had a fighter in me, or at least I try to convince myself that I do. But in the long run, one of the many recurring mistakes I've made is avoiding and leaving. I hate realizing the things I lack, need to improve on, my mistakes, my regrets or anything I've done wrong for that matter. I hate realizing them because I feel like quitting and nothing else. John Pham, a very interesting individual and one of the best mentors I've had, taught me the winner and loser mentality. The winner stays and does everything he could to achieve his goals. The loser quits when he is down. It's not even right that I blame the world for my failures because that is nothing but wrong. Always start with the self. Now I look with disgust at the times I started blaming everyone and everything else for my failures. I was so wrong to have pointed my finger at so many people or so many things, instead of taking that speck of dust out of my own eye. Its very rewarding to look first into yourself and then build your outlook on life from there. I've always seen myself as an optimist, but the very rare times I'm very pessimistic? These times cause my fall. I become so lazy also when pulling myself back up. I become very dependent. For a change, I'm glad that I'm realizing these things now. I guess there was some truth to the cliche of "how you become more mature when you're 18". I always believed that people just stress this for lack of better things to say on a debut. How could I even have doubted the wisdom of the more responsible and more mature individuals who have told me this a million and one times? -- The few days I've taken to clear some scum off my mind has really helped me in realizing that avoiding and leaving is the losers' way out.

Now, I'm trying to start my life here with a smile on my face. After reading just a few pages of another great mentor, Xuan Nguyen, I realized that one of the best ways to live life is with a smile on the face. I guess I was too busy passing time moping around or making myself sad by not being productive during the day. Again, it hit me like a ton of bricks. -- To you, dearest, I'm sorry. You do not bash me. Please keep that in mind. I was too angry to listen. I was too confused to understand. Your words are a treasure, please know that. Thank you also for not expecting anything from me from now on. And thank you, for the trust. We're getting there. We're getting there. -- From now on, I am focusing on avoiding and learning. I am constantly telling myself to avoid the mistakes I make being the Jik that I am. This time, moreover, I promise to learn from them. I was and still am very hard-headed. But I'm really, really making it a point to discard my system of some earthly flaws. Truthfully, it feels good learning from mistakes. Every day now, I'm finding a reason to smile. -- Baby, thank you for praying for this. Thank you for being there. :*

The other day, attending the meeting of this business company I've signed up for, John Pham shared with us something that I would want to share with all of you: Imagine you have a bank account wherein everyday, the bank puts in $86,400. Everyday! You can do anything with your money because you have FULL access to it. The catch, however, is that what is left of it during the day will NOT be carried on nor saved the next day. Everything will reset to $0 by midnight. So what do you do? You spend to the very last cent right? ... Didn't all of you know that we have that kind of bank? It's called TIME. Everyday, we are given 86,400 seconds. Yet, we do not always make the most of our time. We sometimes laze around, procrastinate, postpone things for the next day. But every second wasted is not carried on to the next day. The record of everything that transpired today is erased by midnight. So spend every second as if it were your last. There's no such thing as being busy, it's just a matter of making time for everything you need to accomplish. Wouldn't you want to spend each second wisely? -- I'm glad that I took time off to figure and straighten some things out. I'm seeing everything through now with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. It was definitely worth my time figuring those things out. More importantly, I now have a better idea of how to spend my days.

I'm starting school on monday, guys. That means responsibilty, time, effort, hardwork. I'm still planning on updating my blog. And I am still planning to contact each one of you as I go on. I am planning to work, attend meetings, meet new people, study, go to mass, and everything else like taking a bath. Most of all, I am planning to FOCUS and put my HEART into whatever I'm doing. I remember my Sensei Chino and Sensei Ricky and how they taught me more ways than one. There were times when I feel like quitting, or complain when I cannot make my game strong in Karate. There are times when my efforts just can't get me to the top as much as I want them to. All they said once was all I needed to hear. "Jik, kulang lang sa puso." -- Hay. If there's a will, there's a way. Not very cliche now, is it? :)

PS: Rico, Jewel, Dimps and Allen: Nagvvid-ok yung mga kapitbahay ko. Miss ko na kayo!!!