Scavenging and Its Effects on an Entomophobe: Waking up at 2:30 today from a great dream, I was moving slower than I usually do upon getting up. It was the right timing, too, because my brother just found his way to the bathroom to take a bath. This meant an advantage in using the computer. While my brother was dispensing (bastos ang nasa tumatanggap :P) in the bathroom, I crawled lazily unto the computer chair and went online. A little after I did, my brother was ready to go pick my mom up from work. He told me, "Oh, hindi ka ba maghahanda? Pupunta si Paolo ng 4 o'clock." I then murmured a "Oo nga ano..", disconnected after a exchanging a few hi's and hello's with some people in YM, and went to the bathroom to get ready. Paolo is my mom's friend's son. He's probably a year younger than my brother. He was arranging this movie-dinner gimik with my brother and I. So, not wanting to look sloppy, I took a bath even though I didn't really feel like it yet. (Hehe, Jewel..) After picking out what to wear, I took out my Prestos and put them on the floor. Suddenly, an army of ants was attacking me! (Leche, ants and I really don't get along!) I looked carefully at the rug and saw a looong trail of ants from under the dinner table to the wall. I panicked and said, "Anak ng !#$%$@%" and got the cockroach and ant killer spray. I sprayed like mad because I really don't have a soft spot in my heart for them. And, mind you, this was what I learned:

Ants feed on anything sweet, any piece of food that magically jumps from the table to the floor, and any dead insect. I was a first-hand witness to the last mentioned in the ants' list of unfortunate main courses. Under the table was a termite/cricket-looking insect, its wings about a few inches from it, also being feasted upon by the hungry ants. I just don't understand what's so palatable about termite/cricket-looking insects! Scavenging is one thing that makes my head turn in disgust. And, being the entomophobe that I am, I couldn't care less if the ants died because of the insect repellant. In fact, I was extremely elated! And so, after killing the ants, sweeping them off the carpet, and reminding myself to wear my glasses because not wearing them made the ants harder to see, I went to google to search the difference between predation and parasitism. I don't know why, but these two terms suddenly popped out of my head. Predation is the capturing of prey by the predator as a means of sustaining life. Parasitism is when an organism feeds or lives by thriving inside or living outside another organism and benefits from the host's body, like a tapeworm lives inside a human body or a tick that sucks blood from a human. My true quest however, was not finding out again what predation and parasitism were. It was determining the true meaning of scavenging. Scavenging is searching for and feeding on decaying matter. At last! Knowing this and its relation to me, an entomophobe, I felt much better. Don't ask me why, I just did.

Meow: We were wondering if Paolo was okay because it was already dinner time and he still hadn't arrived. Another thing got my attention though. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Senti Trip: While waiting, I decided to clean up, a long overdue chore. As I was fixing my things today, because Paolo and his friend were dropping by instead of taking us out to a movie, I came upon my box of memories. In it are pictures, art materials, scrapbooks, papers, tissue, memento, everything. Then I found something that I was supposed to have read the moment I set foot in this apartment. However, it was not 'til today that I got myself to do so. I opened this jar (which I made) that Jonar returned to me, with a letter and some sand inside to fill up the space. In it was a letter that made me teary-eyed. An excerpt (or more so the bulk of the letter): "...One of the things I'm going to miss when you leave is the way you called me "Schoolmate". Actually, I was down at that time you started calling me that -- I had just received news that I would not be graduating and was bitter at the fact that I'd be spending another freaking year in college when I should have been helping out my dad or rallying and writing activist tracts full-time -- and the prospect of spending a schoolyear with you around made the idea more palatable, if not appealing. At least I'd still have someone to hang out with after my friends have graduated. Of course, we were talking about things only Katipunan denizens would have understood, like hanging out at Encomium (which has since closed), or jogging at Moro (which I have yet to do this year). And then again, you saw a part of me not appreciated by others: my writing personality. Sure, there was Rico, and Anna, and Roi, but you were the first to see throught the exterior I put up. And I thank you for that, because in a way, you revived my sagging spirits. The one thing I've learned from my stay in Ateneo is this: a person is like a vast ocean. As much as we try hard to determine its boundaries with nets, the water will just surge on and on. As much as we try to confine a person to our concept of what he/she is, there is always part of him/her that will escape our grasp. Therefore, we should accept a person for the ocean he/she is. The depth, the breadth, the life and all the possibilities hiding in the waters. But I guess you didn't really need to go to Ateneo. You already knew all that matters..." And the piece he wrote after the Batangas trip: (It's in Rico's blog, too.)
Sand Poem #1 This is the stuff sea-castles are made of: sand, white and fine, fragile as the next breaking of the waves. We who build, break down; and willingly destroy an hour's worth of toil under an unforgiving sun, and leave things as they are as we search for farther, unconquered shores where waves break hard all the more. For it is there, we are told, where sand forms: the interface of sea and shore, the rendezvous of coral and coast. Where waves break, stone is broken down, washed into the open sea, smashed on distant, sun-baked coasts, and carried back to where it came from. Only this time, in a form whiter and finer than before. No wonder, then, that we walk to the far end of the shore to gather in plastic pails sandy souvenirs of a summer's sojourn. In the seacoast, perhaps, we are all born, like the sand washed out of stone, where waves break against the shore, whiter and finer we are transformed.

Wasn't that just beautiful? -- After reading his letter, I realized that I haven't listened to the cds that JP burned for me on behalf of the choir. I was so happy to hear all the songs!!! Ang ganda lahat!! Pati yung "Ispageting pababa, pababa nang pababa. Ispageting pataas, pataas nang pataas. Ispageting pababa at pataas!" Man, that one just cracked me up! Here are the songs that made me laugh, made me smile, and made me cry: Disc 1 1. The Beautiful Ones by Suede (isang awiting na bagay sa mga "Gorgeous Babes") 2. Wish You Were Here by Incubus (ang title ng kantong ito ay ang hangad namin) 3. Crash and Burn by Savage Garden (isang awiting nagpapatunay na kaming mga kaibigan mo ay laging dadamy sa iyo) 4. So Little Time by Arkarna (ang chorus nito ay ang nais pa sana namin) 5. Ispageti by Sexbomb Dancers (para lagi mong maalala ang kalokohan ng mga "Matrix Dancers") 6. Close by Paolo Santos (isang awitin ng pagkakaibigian... na walang makakahadlang kahit layo pa) 7. I Say A Little Prayer from the OST of My Best Friend's Wedding (lagi naming gagawin ang title ng kantang ito para sa iyo) 8. Pretty Woman (at isa na namang kantang "Gorgeous Babes") 9. At Your Side by The Corrs (pakinggan mabuti ang lyrics) 10. Thank You by Dido (ang title ng kantang ito ay alay sa iyo sa ilang oras na ibinibigay mo para sa koro) 11. Lean On Me by Bill Withers (isa na namang awiting pagkakaibigan... pero nababagay pa rin sa ating samahan) 12. Get Here by Oleta Adams (nais namin lalo na kung wala kaming piyanista) 13. The Prayer by Charlotte Church and Josh Groban (isang awit namin para sa iyo) -> I'm putting this on my sidebar 14. So Far Away by Carole King (napakalungkot na awitin pero sadyang totoo ang sinasabi ng mga unang parte ng lyrics) -> the flute played on this song reminded me so much of my baby :( 15. Goodbye Girl by David Gates (bagay sa iyo ang title... pero mas matindi ang chorus nito) 16. I Don't Want You To Go by LaToya Jackson (ang title nito ay isa pang nais namin... pero hindi talaga puwede) -> matagal ko nang hinahanap yung kantang to 17. You've Got A Friend In Me by Randy Newman (isang "unknown" na awitin ngunit para sa atin ito) 18. I'll Be There by Mariah Carey (isang awit ng pagkakaibigan... medyo gasgas na pero tunay ang nilalaman nito) -> Consult my sidebar 19. Never Too Far by Mariah Carey (awit ng pagaalaala... ang title ay para sa iyo) -> Asa isang blog entry ko to :)

I would've posted the songs on Disc 2 and on the Bonus CD, but AOL is all fucked up, so I'm having a hard time looking for the song titles and their respective artists. -- The reason why I put these here are because they really put me in a sentimental mood, especially songs 11 through 19. I also remembered that I haven't listened to the cassette tape that the choir has recorded for me. My player was malfunctioning before I went here, so I didn't bring it, hoping that it could be fixed and just be included in the box going to be sent here. -- Listening to the songs, I missed the choir so much...

Still, waiting for Paolo, I decided to put my debut pictures in the album I bought at target. I didn't get to finish it though because the leaves weren't enough to hold all my pictures. I'd have to get some refills for the album, plus, I'm planning to have some pictures from the proofs be developed when I go back to Pi. Also, I put my other pictures in another album, and put captions beside each of them. Doon ako nalungkot..

In Conclusion: Finally, after 10 thousand years, Paolo arrived with his friend Ryan. They're both Filipinos, too. They just dropped by to give us a pie, gave me a stuffed toy (Geez, I wonder why.. :|) and to apologize for not coming earlier. They got lost, and just decided to drop by. They invited us to Disneyland on Ryan's birthday. Anak ng tupang kinalbo. Nagbihis pa ako hindi naman pala natuloy.

Upon going online, I decided to check my mail. Hehe, yes, I don't do this everyday, for those who email me at yahoo. I received two emails, one from my very good buddy Kath and another sweetie, Mama Bee. Hay girlfriends... Nakakamiss kayo.. Mama Kath, wala lang natuwa at nalungkot ako sa email mo. I was just telling Roi how much I missed everything you used to do with me: the way you call him "dear tutor" (which he remembers so well), the way you go up my stairs noisily by dragging your feet, the way you call my dad "tito papa", the way you go to my house and eat whatever you want, the way I sniff you.. etc etc. Pucha, nakakamiss. And Mama Bee, I've been trying to get myself to reply, which I most probably will do (but if not, I had every intention to) after updating my blog. However, gusto ko lang sabihin na miss na kita at yung nasa email mo? Hope we could talk soon about it. I miss you, gurl!

A very interesting day for me. Filled with surprises, and sentiments revived just because of some pictures and some songs. Kelan kaya ako makakabalik ng Pilipinas?....