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Per Ardua Ad AstraI've been a very, very bad blogger. I haven't paid attention to my blog in so long. I guess I've just been battling with too many things right now. "Home sapiens is also Homo reparans." (Elizabeth Spelman) Yup, that's me.
I've been battling some issues with the two people who've raised me for eighteen years. Here I am, settling down with who, for me, is the closest to perfect guy I've ever been with, and here they are on the other end, constantly ringing in my ear about how they DON'T want me to settle down. What's to enjoy a few hours of slumber in each other's arms? What's to share a kiss, a touch of a hand, and a look of love? What's to express love, one which I never had, one which I never shared, one which I never discovered? What's to feel happy, to serve that happiness, to do everything in my power to making everything work? What's to fight for the good life, to dream, to avoid having reality fall short of expectations, or rather to have no expectations at all? What's to enjoy bliss, get lost in someone's eyes, to connect with someone through his fingertips? What's to love? Is it so much that you cannot let go of my hand to let me be someone else's? And now what? Your words "if you leave, don't come back" still reverberate as clearly as they sounded when you first shouted them to my face. Please don't ever, ever forget that you said those words to me. You know I'll take them seriously.
I guess having lost my entire sidebar will not work for me, but it's no reason either to start anew. =)
I am Jik. I believe in miracles, and I believe in hope. I am not prude nor old-fashioned even though I believe that Love is very real and that it governs the world. I am not selfish even though I may be materialistic. I am not weak even though I sometimes crumble down to my knees. I am not poor even though I have very little in my bank account. I try to embody what courage is all about and I try to do everything in spontaneity. I invest a whole lot of passion in anything I do, and I am and always will be a dreamer. I admire people who uphold their beliefs in life, as I try to do so myself. I always strive for the perfection of character, and make myself into the person I want to become. I seek for the greater scheme of things, the tapestry of how everything falls into an exquisite, sublime plan. And my greatest fortune is having found the secret of my life. This I intend to share with all of you someday.
Makulit. Malikot. Mababaw. I'm thumbelina, sweetie, choknat, bitch, bastard, bruhilda, gaga, bubwit, baby, hoebag, dumbass, jiffy, jikinini, jikydoodles, gicgic, jikulit, jikywiky, jikaru, jikers, jikee, jikijik, jikjik, jik, jixie, jikita, jikita banana, jikitita, jikaboo, or what have you. I'm the Jik you know and ever will know.