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Per Ardua Ad AstraA lot of times in my life, I've wished to have made different decisions that would result to different outcomes, different situations, different experiences. All this time, I've been living in a pool of hate and regret -- a pool that I myself have made and have been swimming in for the last five years. I didn't realize it until today how I've become so accustomed to this lifestlye that I started not minding the fact that I hate being in it. This thought then brought me to the other side of this realization.
I guess those of you who've read my blog several times know already how much I like complaining, and once I get addicted to my ranting sessions, I very seldom find it easy to stop. This time however, instead of once again complaining about the unfortunate parts of my life, I'd rather tell you about the people who have constantly picked me up to rescue me from drowning in my own pool. There's this girl, who's about a few inches taller than me and she's proud of it, who would reply to each and every one of my messages. She would be excited when I call her up. She would text message me just to say she misses me. And when things go inexplicably wrong, she's there to tell me that the clouds will clear up. She makes me worry less every single time she knows I'm worrying too much. She texts me even though she's driving, even when she's in school, even when she's asleep and I wake her up with the beeping of her phone. She's one of the very few who actually say they love me. And she doesn't even know how much this means to me. Even though she can't shoot pool, (hehe) she's still one of the best girlfriends in the world. :) Secondly, there's this guy who has these great curly locks that I will never forget, a body that I will NEVER forget (hehe just kidding) and a great loving personality that I will always remember. He's like the male version of this girl I was just telling you about. We've had this friendship that kind of didn't start or end right. Nevertheless, he's been there for me especially to make me laugh. We share secrets that no one else knows. We share kalokohans that nobody knows. (Remember our jokes on Shirley? Hehe) And now, I have new hirits about his ex-girlfriend... Hahaha! If you've forgotten, I'm a gold medalist. Baka tadyakan ko kayong dalawa?! Haha! Anyway, this guy is definitely for keeps. We didn't get into any relationship or anything. We're just really good friends and I'd love to keep it that way. Where we're situated right now is probably where we're intended to be. Maybe.. our small conversations are there to keep us going, are there to help us know that we support each other no matter what. Maybe this is the right time to apologize for all the ambiguity in our friendship. And for all those times you stuck it out with me, you listened to me and stayed with me to watch me sleep, thank you. I really wish I spent more time with you. :) And to another good friend... a friend who doesn't say much but whose words are priceless. A friend who makes me feel warm every time we have the shortest confabulation. A friend who always says the right things at the right time, whose efforts to make me feel better have effects that last til the next couple of days. A friend who makes me look forward to where the tides will bring me. :) Again, thanks for the eagerness to text with me when you're on your way to work. Thanks for... the beautiful memories we've shared, the mango crepe you promised me (and I'm really looking forward to it), and a whole lot more.
So this is pretty much what I've learned today -- that complaining brings forth nothing. And being thankful for other things and other people actually shift your bad mood to a good one.
I guess having lost my entire sidebar will not work for me, but it's no reason either to start anew. =)
I am Jik. I believe in miracles, and I believe in hope. I am not prude nor old-fashioned even though I believe that Love is very real and that it governs the world. I am not selfish even though I may be materialistic. I am not weak even though I sometimes crumble down to my knees. I am not poor even though I have very little in my bank account. I try to embody what courage is all about and I try to do everything in spontaneity. I invest a whole lot of passion in anything I do, and I am and always will be a dreamer. I admire people who uphold their beliefs in life, as I try to do so myself. I always strive for the perfection of character, and make myself into the person I want to become. I seek for the greater scheme of things, the tapestry of how everything falls into an exquisite, sublime plan. And my greatest fortune is having found the secret of my life. This I intend to share with all of you someday.
Makulit. Malikot. Mababaw. I'm thumbelina, sweetie, choknat, bitch, bastard, bruhilda, gaga, bubwit, baby, hoebag, dumbass, jiffy, jikinini, jikydoodles, gicgic, jikulit, jikywiky, jikaru, jikers, jikee, jikijik, jikjik, jik, jixie, jikita, jikita banana, jikitita, jikaboo, or what have you. I'm the Jik you know and ever will know.