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Per Ardua Ad AstraFuck. It's been almost 3 years that I haven't listened to all my songs, and too many songs remind me of too many memories -- the ones that are stubborn and will always be at the back of your mind. No matter how hard you try to kick them out, they will always be there. !@#$%%@#%!
Hey Cux, if you're reading this, remember that conversation we had in the room, where we had all my scrapbooks and planners and stuff? I was just thinking how so many things have happened since high school or even 6th grade.. Many beautiful memories, many painful ones, stupid and corny ones... But they will always be alive in my memory and I will play them over and over again, and coo and sigh when I see or hear something that will remind me of them and parts of me hates that I hold on too much and take everything so sensitively but what the hell that's the way I am. Gaaaahhhhh! is all I can say.
******
This is for you, sweetie:
We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
'cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change
Let's don't wait til the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait til the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby
Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
'cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away...
Let's don't wait til the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait til the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby
******
To you:
I have no idea whatsoever if you got my text message last night. But I guess since before and til forever, I will always find that true: When I am in rough waters, I know you're doing so much better than I am and I'm hoping you remain happy, just the way you are now. You guys look so perfect and comfortable together that the fact that you're glowing gives me more reason to believe that you deserve the happiness you have. I almost envy you.
******
I need a reason to start believing again. My soul is crumbling down to its knees but you don't see me pleading. I feel so alone. What's wrong with you?
I guess having lost my entire sidebar will not work for me, but it's no reason either to start anew. =)
I am Jik. I believe in miracles, and I believe in hope. I am not prude nor old-fashioned even though I believe that Love is very real and that it governs the world. I am not selfish even though I may be materialistic. I am not weak even though I sometimes crumble down to my knees. I am not poor even though I have very little in my bank account. I try to embody what courage is all about and I try to do everything in spontaneity. I invest a whole lot of passion in anything I do, and I am and always will be a dreamer. I admire people who uphold their beliefs in life, as I try to do so myself. I always strive for the perfection of character, and make myself into the person I want to become. I seek for the greater scheme of things, the tapestry of how everything falls into an exquisite, sublime plan. And my greatest fortune is having found the secret of my life. This I intend to share with all of you someday.
Makulit. Malikot. Mababaw. I'm thumbelina, sweetie, choknat, bitch, bastard, bruhilda, gaga, bubwit, baby, hoebag, dumbass, jiffy, jikinini, jikydoodles, gicgic, jikulit, jikywiky, jikaru, jikers, jikee, jikijik, jikjik, jik, jixie, jikita, jikita banana, jikitita, jikaboo, or what have you. I'm the Jik you know and ever will know.